I'm sure this is the first of what may become a small, random collection of out of character postings scattered amongst my time here writing as Argentos.
Since those of you who read this roleplaying blog are most likely unaware of what goes on with me outside of the game, I figured it would only be fair to let you know why I haven't been playing much as of late, and therefore not writing as much either. In the past
week, I've played for less than one hour, according to my xfire logs. Yikes.
I work two jobs, though after next weekend, I'll be down to one job. My first job, and the one I'm leaving at the end of the week, is as an employee at a local movie theatre. It's a fun job, and despite the crap pay, I love it. I just can't manage the time for it any more though, as my second job is not only more appealing, but I've been offered a position of management.
I've been working at GameStop since November. Of this year. Last month. Yes, you read that correctly.
So, quick word on the job front? Holycrapinsanity.
The holiday season really is the WORST time to be learning the ins and outs of management. It's rough, but I think I can take it. There's not necessarily a huge amount of stuff to learn, but there are certainly a million things to do this time of year. Everything is high volume. High in, high out, high sales, high so on and high so forth. I'm still being corrected on the little things, like the way I speak on the phone or to customers. It's not that I'm saying the wrong things... I'm just not necessarily saying the right things either. It's all about word choice. On top of that, I've got a ton of numbers to memorize. The numbers themselves aren't so hard, but remembering which one belongs to which store will be the tricky part -- I'd hate to have to look them up every time someone asks me for another store's number. And the inventory? Well... the current third-key showed me some things about that tonight. It's not necessarily hard, but it sure is tedious. I'm not looking forward to opening the store, whenever that may happen... hopefully it won't be for a little while. Closing seems simple enough, just a matter of triple-checking everything and making sure everything's locked up and accounted for prior to leaving. I've really got to crack down and pick up the pace, because the walls are starting to close in.
I'm ready, but at the same time, I'm not. You know? It's a little daunting.
In other news, I was listening to John Mayer when it struck me out of nowhere.
I need more music in my life.
Since high school graduation, I have not participated in any form of musicality with the exception of my aunt's wedding in October of 2004 -- where I had also turned down a duet with one of her best friends because I felt uncomfortable doing so... and I don't really know why, either.
Playing games like Guitar Hero or Elite Beat Agents doesn't count.
I'd love to sing again, but I don't want to join a chorus -- but at the same time, I'm entirely uncomfortable singing solo. I've never been a solo singer. Quartets are fun though. I wouldn't know where to look to find a trio of guys who need a bass singer. I'm at a loss.
I play bass guitar, too, but I don't actually own one. We have plenty of acoustic guitars in this house, but I have no desire to learn to play them. I'm a bassist, and that's how I like it. If I had a bass guitar, maybe I could get back into music that way. I know plenty of friends who always seem to be looking for a bassist. Go figure.
I love to compose, but I'm uncomfortable with writing my own music. Come to me with a flushed out melody and lyrics, and I'll compose a full orchestra to play behind it. I'm just not original enough to come up with new things because everything I write sounds the same, and it gets on my nerves. I can't even express myself that way, and it's starting to become rather annoying.
I think the underlying truth here is that I'm stressed out.
Everything in my life is going the RIGHT way right now, and I don't know how to react. Music has always been the one thing that calms me down and now I have no outlet with which to express it. It's so hectic, trying to keep up with everything and everyone, between jobs, family, and friends. I need a way to wind down and while I've explored new possibilities, I just can't find one that works.
I need the music. I just can't find it.